Today Justin and I are celebrating 4 happy years of marriage. It seems like a long time, since a lot has transpired since then. Our story begins several years prior to December 4th, 2004. I believe it began when I read a highly recommended book titled, “When God Writes Your Love Story” It wasn’t a how-to courtship book, but rather cast a vision for allowing God to script the story of your life, handing the pen to Him, and allowing God to lead you to your future spouse, without dating around.
In the book, Leslie Ludy encouraged young women to “prepare” for their future husbands NOW! First, by educating yourself and equipping yourself to be a good help-meet to someone, secondly, by keeping yourself pure, and lastly, praying for your future spouse BEFORE you ever meet them!
So that’s what I started doing. As strange as it seemed, I started praying for my future husband when I was 16, and Justin would’ve been around 23. I specifically remember even praying for my future husband’s salvation, because, hey, ya never know. Little did I know how God was moving in the heart of my future husband. He accepted Christ that same year! Wow! [side note: J and I just realized the timing of that fact when we were preparing to share our testimony for an event recently. And I must say, I’m certainly not trying to say that I‘m responsible for his salvation, but it’s interesting how God gave me a desire to pray for him, and that same year, Justin’s eyes were opened , he received the gospel, and Christ started His re-arranging work in his life]
I’m not sure when I officially met Justin. I’d seen him a few times because he was a friend of a friend. I remember him coming to church several times w/ a married couple. He then got ready to deploy to Bosnia w/ the U.S. Army. My Mom encouraged me to tell him goodbye after church the last Sunday he was there, but I was too shy, and plus, I’d never actually been introduced to him. I just knew him as “Brad’s Friend.” Our family was given his email address and asked to write Justin, the lonely soldier in Bosnia. So that’s what we did! It was a family thing and everyone wrote him. After a few months of sharing emails, Krista was a little miffed when she would write him a letter, and he would return it w/ a “Dear Megan” email. She said, “I think he likes you, Meg.” He came home on leave in January of 2001. We went out for pizza w/ him and some friends. He was a nice guy and I kinda liked him, but I wanted to guard my heart. I didn’t know him at all, and wanted to be careful. At the same time, I kept trying to squash the little thought that kept popping up in my head that said, “You’re going to marry that guy someday!” When we were out for pizza, Justin found out that I was only 17...he says it freaked him out, a little, since he thought I was at least 20! He also accidentally poured a pitcher of pop in my lap while trying to refill my glass. *grin*
We continued to email just as friends on the family email account, no big deal. *smile* He came home in April to a crossroads in his life. The Lord had begun an amazing work in his life. The Bosnia trip had given him a good airing out from his previous friends and lifestyle. He decided to move to Oakland and live w/ an old buddy. The same buddy that he had lived on the wild side with, and also the guy that lead him to Christ. So Justin moved in w/ Brad and his wife, Elisha. My Dad also gave him some part-time work on the farm. During those summer months, my Dad really came alongside to disciple and encourage Justin. While my Dad and Justin were working on Dad’s Job Creation Project: tearing down an old corn crib, it was then, Justin popped a hypothetical question to my Dad. He asked, “So what would to say to someone if they wanted to date your daughter? My Dad had his back turned to Justin, and was smirking as he answered, “I’d tell him to pray about it for a year and then come back and ask me again.” End of conversation.
As for me, I graduated high school that spring and started college at U of I as a viola performance major. Life was busy! My first semester at college, my little brother, Isaac, was born. I was commuting, trying to stay up w/ all the course work, and noticing my growing interest in this guy, Justin.
In December 2001, we had the “Cabin Talk.” My parents, Justin, and I met at the cabin to chat about the direction of Justin and my relationship. We were in that awkward stage of “more than a friend, less than a lover.” We concluded that we believed God was leading us to get married someday. However, that seemed like a long way off. Both of us simply were not ready to get married at that point. My Dad told Justin that he wanted 3 promises from a future son-in-law. He needed to be able to
1. Provide
2. Protect
3. Please
He told Justin that he was positive #2 and 3 were in place, but that he needed to work on #1...providing. In other words, YOU NEED A JOB, BUDDY! Dad and Mom also told us that they wanted to be involved in our relationship and wanted to help us make it successfully to the marriage alter. So Justin and I concentrated on what was set before us…school!
In February of 2003, Justin got the papers that he was going to be deploying to Afghanistan. At that time, he was going to school during the day and working for UPS at night. I remember how grueling his schedule was…he was so tired! Some of our dates, I remember feeling so bad because he almost fell asleep while we were eating. We were wondering how much longer it would be before we could get married. It seemed like here was another set back, since deployments were running a year to a year and a half! Little did we know how God would use that deployment for good in each of us individually, as well as us, as a couple. We both had more maturing to do and more lessons to learn.
Justin was at Ft. McCoy, WI for 4 months, waiting, and waiting. (That’s what you do in the military, hurry up and wait!) Finally in June, he left for Afghanistan. I decided to really buckle down w/ my studies so I could be finished by the time he got home. It was attainable, so I got busy! Studying, tests, lessons, master classes, rehearsals, teaching students and performances consumed all of my time.
While Justin was in Afganistan, my family and I started fixing up my Grandpa’s old farmhouse. It was owned by several other people through the years, and had been abandoned. It was in dire need of repair. My Grandparents bought it to bulldoze, actually. We were able to talk them into letting us buy it and fix it up, since the frame of the house was solid. So, that little “fixer upper” was gutted. It took us two years to completely finish. And, wow, I had no idea what “gutting” meant. After several dumpsters full of trash were cleaned out of it, then it was really time to get to work.
Each layer was taken off, the ceiling was stomped through, all the old insulation cleaned out. Till it was just sticks and studs. Then we started the rebuilding process. It was amazing how many volunteers offered to help us fix it up! God really provided people who offered to do things at cost. Plus, we had several handy carpenters who did a great job. I was busy picking out paint colors, flooring, cabinets, designing the layout of the kitchen, and dreaming about how it would eventually look.
The long distance relationship we were forced into having was a blessing in disguise. As Justin says, it certainly helped out in the purity department! We also learned to communicate better. We talked on the phone (despite the annoying delay and echo), emailed, and best of all, snail mailed. It was a time of completely trusting the Lord and waiting on His perfect timing. We learned what it means to be patient and prayerful. During his time overseas, Justin had also started praying that the Lord would provide a good job for him when he got back to the States. One good enough so that I could stay home w/ our future family.
My littlest sister, Evangeline, was born in March of 2004. I did graduate in 3 years w/ my undergrad degree that May. Justin arrived home in the end of April. I was very busy (and stressed-out) finishing up with finals. He proposed to me on his 27th birthday, May 8th, 2004. It was a happy day! Hope at last! “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick; but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12
Also in May, Justin was offered a job from a construction company that he had interned w/ a few summers prior. They told him that a supervisor position was open and that they would count his military experience and his partially finished civil engineering degree enough for the position! We set our wedding date for December 4th, 2004, since it was after harvest and gave enough time for our house to be remodeled.
December finally rolled around and we were happily married in front of 300 family, friends, and guests. We decided not to kiss before our wedding day. It was a little nerve-racking standing in front of that many people to kiss for the first time. *smile* There was a dessert reception afterward, and people said it was delicious. We didn't eat anything, we were so busy talking and smiling for pictures. Justin planned a week-long honeymoon in Mexico and we came home to our lovely newly rebuilt home. It amazed me, even that first week, how much I had to learn about my new hubby! I thought I knew him so well. The thing I was amazed with that first week, was how goofy and hilarious Justin is. He hid it well, before we were married. I suppose there were too many Millers around to just be himself, or something. He still makes me laugh really hard, at least once a week.
We had big plans to travel and wait about two years before starting a family. However, God had different plans for us. Since then, we’ve happily welcomed Samuel Justice (Aug. 05), William Noble (July 07) and Madeline Hope (Aug. 08)
It’s amazing to me the work that God can do in 4 years of marriage. We’ve both realized that we cannot change each other…only God can. So, instead of nagging and playing the cold-shoulder game, we’re learning to commit one another and our annoying habits/character issues to prayer. The results are amazing. God can take two type A, oldest-child-type people and allow them to have a glorious, godly marriage. The honeymoon is over, but our love is stronger now. It’s a bit more seasoned, realistic, and mature. Love isn’t always the exciting and thrilling, it’s sacrifical, it's about laying your life down for the other. Saying no to self and letting go. Justin and I both agree that marriage gets better with age. I only thought I loved him then. Somehow amidst the stressors, like close pregnancies, bills, new babies, and plain ol' CHANGE, we’ve grown closer and our love has matured. We may not be as wild and crazy as we were when we were first married, but our love for each other has deepened. We’re best friends. We like being together. Yes, we have conflicts and differences and our marriage has taken work, and we’re still a work in progress, but I’m so thankful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband!!!
I need to remind Justin about that book he was going to write called, "Courting the Millers" (Just his polite way of venting during our courtship...Just ask Therese about all her pratical jokes and incessant teasing. Just wait, sista, your time is coming. Ha!)
So there's Our Story, in a nutshell. Writing it out has brought back all those memories again. It seems like a lifetime ago, for some reason. Here were my promises during those days...
"Trust in the Lord, and do good...Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him..." Psalm 37
~~~~Looking forward to the next 4 years!~~~~
Just for fun...here's our celebratory pictres from the past 4 years:
2008
2007
2006
2005
