A little too close to home!

I'm quite relieved to be feeling better. I'm almost to my 2nd trimester now, and am regaining my endurance and appetite. I've come to the conclusion that having 0-1 child was easy, 2 and pregnant pretty tricky...what about the next ones?! I'm not going there for now. And I don't have much to complain about since I didn't having "morning sickness" (er, well, let's say according to some I didn't have it, since I never threw up.) What's better: being nauseated and trying to function, or throwing up and trying to function. (definitely the latter!!!) For that, I'm so thankful! But I read this post off some newly pregnant girl's blog and thought it a little too familiar:

WARNING:DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT HAD CHILDREN YET! THIS MAY ONLY BE APPRECIATED BY THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH A SIMILIAR EXPERIENCE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. :)

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After poking around the internet for weeks looking for morning sickness cures (there aren't any btw), I've seen morning sickness described as everything from having the flu, to being kicked in the stomach by a mule. In my opinion it is far worse and yet somehow more bearable than that.

To the novice, it at first feels exactly like you're coming down with the flu or you just realized that the tacos you ate across the border were a bad idea. On a scale of one to ten (one being normal and ten being wrapped around the porcelain throne begging for an early death), generally when you have the flu or food poisoning you're in denial until you hit about a level five. You keep thinking that you just need fresh air, or a nap or something. After you finally admit you're sick, you spend a few hours sweating it out and resisting it for all it's worth, gritting your teeth and telling yourself you WILL NOT throw up. At some point you go almost instantly from an eight to a ten at which point you go tearing for the nearest bathroom to let your stomach wring itself inside out. Later you emerge crawling on the ground, dragging your weak body from the bathroom to the nearest couch where you repeat the whole process for the next 24 hrs. Sound familiar?

Morning sickness is totally different. It's worse because after a week of bloodshot eyes, getting kernals of corn (or rice) stuck up your sinuses, and having all the enamel worn off your teeth, you tearfully realize that this isn't going away anytime soon. There is no 24 hr time limit, it's like some vicious, sinister practical joke. You don't even have the relief of briefly feeling better after you deposit your lunch back. Instead of a cycle of feeling better and then horrible, you never have a break, you always feel nauseas, always hovering between a six and a nine. This has a bright side though, when you discover that it really means nothing. Since nothing is seriously wrong with you, (there's no bacteria or virus holding your stomach hostage), you learn you can just ignore it. What used to put you in bed, in a fetal position, praying for mercy suddenly doesn't make you bat an eyelash, because it's all a big joke. You're not actually going to die nor is it going away any time soon. Somehow you just press on, circle the end of your first trimester on the calendar and hope you survive. The problem with this facade of normalcy is that anything can put you at a ten nearly instantly. All it takes is standing up straight, smelling any food, seeing something gross on TV, or even sneezing and suddenly you have run to the nearest bathroom. (although planters, ziploc bags, and water bottles work in a pinch). Even though throwing up doesn't make you feel any better, it also ceases to impress you after awhile. You brush your teeth, or pop a mint and are done. It's a very different experience.

I personally think the worst effect of morning sickness is the loss of my beloved appetite. I used to love food; smelling it, eating it, savoring every mouthful, but right now I honestly can't remember what it felt like to enjoy the taste of something. Food I previously loved makes the hair on my arm stand up, and my stomach cringe. People keep asking me if I'm feeling better and that's really hard to answer. Jim says I'm doing better because I'm throwing up less, and it's true. I also feel as good as a level two or three on some days which was unheard of previously, but I forget to be grateful because now there is nothing left for me to eat. I have exhausted all the usual meals/recipes and food. I typically only eat something once and then I hurl it up and never want to see, smell or taste it again. When you do that for two months you eventually run out of things to eat. For awhile I was hanging on with peanut butter & jelly sandwiches or ramen noodles, but those are on the black list now and I'm down to potatoes and apples. I can also manage to keep stuff down if it's put in front of me suddenly. In other words, if I don't have to smell it, think about it, anticipate it or cook it, then I can typically eat it. (with the exception of anything containing tomato sauce, most especially spaghetti). My first trimester is technically over this Tues. (yay) It's circled in red on my calendar, and I'm hoping it will magically disappear then, but I'm being nice and giving it an extra week to leave before I really get mad.


ALL THAT TO SAY, IT'S ALL DEFINITELY WORTH IT!!!! MORNING SICKNESS, ACHES AND PAINS...AND LABOR. SOMEHOW IT ALL GETS FUZZY AND WE FORGET (SOMEWHAT)AND CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD ANOTHER NEW BABY! :)

m.E.g.

p.s. if i had more time to waste, i would blog about the cruelty of the 12 week glucose test i had to endure last week. (and the 5 other times I've had it the past 2 1/2 years!) i will spare you the bore of reading it and save myself some time. but, i still think it's disgusting to have to take it 2 x's in one pregnancy.